A month, it feels like ages actually. A month that makes me feel able to do anything I want.

It's been a month now. Since that 'terrible' mistake I made which showed me the true wisdom of God. A month since all that I though would never be exploded as a reality in front of me. A month since I got that gift from God. A month since all my dreams were forced to face a new reality. I feel so good. I have to tell though that I forgot it is a month now. For me it felt like years and years.

Those thirty days were like a whole bunch of days, because I came to know you better. I came to understand you more. I learned how to love you, and how to never look at myself as nothing again. It was a month of learning. Lessons I will never cease to learn, because I know that everyday I will learn something new about you. It puzzles me and makes me want to know you more. And I believe I will get to do it everyday for the rest of my life. Just imagine, you and me. No one else.

I feel now more than ever that we both have a future linked together. I am not afraid anymore to tell you that I love you. I am not afraid to tell you what I think about us. And I am not afraid to tell you that I am deeply (and you know it's deep) in love with you.

I am so sorry that I forgot about the day. I understand that you care about. I'll try not to forget it next time. Thanks for remembering this date.
By the way, did I tell you that I love you today?

This day. Well, How can I describe it? Pretty much as always. Nothing really happening.
I didn't go to the second congregation today, mainly because I had a lot of stuff to do for the evening. The other reason was that I had to get some things in order for school. I have much to do still, but I guess this coming week everything should be in order and fine.
So, I have to call the Intelligence Forces and confirm my appointment in Tel-Aviv and so I have to check out what happened with my computers lesson in the University.
So, in short it was a normal day. I had my two hour lesson at school which is annoying, but taht should end in January after the final exams. Then I will be enjoying my free friday. Woooow!

So as I came from school I went and logged on to MSN, just to check if my beauty was online. I found her but she had to go because she was at school. So, I was left there with no one to speak to. Then came Prinsii Lehma and we talked. She acted very weird and was a bit down. Eventually I came to know something wasn't ok. So as we talked I just started noticing a change in her. It was something I hadn't seen before. She was angry and she just kinda hated me. I tried to forget all that she said that was supposed to hurt me and I just focused on her and on how she was behaving.
I wouldn't go that far, but there certainly was something dark in her. I felt she was attacking me, my happiness. And I tried to get her to understand that happiness wasn't really about being with someone. I tried to tell her that I care about her and that I love her the way she is, and that is when God suddenly interveined. She told me she prayed for someone to tell her that he loved her, and now her prayer was answered. So I think God did something through me. I hope I'm right. Meanwhile I will keep praying for her. I am very worried about her situation and trully I need His guidance.

And so this day went on. Nothing else, exept for me being worried about Prinsii Lehma.
So I leave you my little blog. See you sometime.
By the way, did I tell you that I love her more and more every day?

So far I felt this day has gone by without anything really important to tell me. Exept for the fact that for some reason yesterday's wish was actually fulfilled, yes I got to dream about her.
Well, in my last dreams I started paying attention to the fact that I tend to forget them. So, before that happens again I will write down what it looked like.

I remeber that for some reason I got back from school early. When I was home I was told, don't remember who told me, that I gotta be prepared for the flight. No information to where.
I was upset, it felt as though this was a very important flight, so I started getting the books out from my backpack filling it afterwards with whatever was needed for a trip. I got my big bag also and started pulling out clothes from my closet. Then the terror happened. For some reason even the smallest things in dreams seem to scare me to death. Yes, all my jeans were dirty. (Has anyone ever seen one of my jeans neat and clean?)
I was more upset and started going crazy. So I finished preparing my bags and I was just heading on to my sister's room. (For some reason, it was my sister's room from the former apartment)
When I was there I noticed that me and other people (Never remembered their faces... Never saw them) had to jump off the window. There seemed to be a rush, and I heard voices which remind me of my group leader, urging us to move faster.
So, I was off the window in some kind of bombshelter's exit and I saw what looked like a park somewhere in Madrid. It wasn't madrid, and I knew it was Ben Gurion's airport. I noticed that my whole self was weird. I looked like a soldier, I was really weird. My muscles looked as I trained for years and I felt taller.
As I was going down I saw a group of people. And she was sitting with them. I just stopped, staring at her from the distance and then she saw me and she rose up. She was just perfect, beautiful. And as she was approaching me the dream fade into black. And I was awake.

I was shocked. Such a dream. She dreamt about the same moment two nights ago.

So, I am ok. And I guess that should be all for now. I gotta go.

Well, a new year has started and all I feel is just a great year coming up. It mainly has to do with the fact that many of my doubts and fears are all gone, and yes, I feel my head is pretty clear and so my mind. Exept for those moments when I think about her.
But, at least that doesn't affect my that much.

Ok, I know it is supposed to be a bad situation. After all, we live thousands of kilometers one from the other. But, I got to tell that for some reason it seems pretty good in some way. Well, life isn't always what you expect it to be. Right? So why try harder? I got no reason to try and write my life 'normally'. I mean, staying in the layers of standart with God, which is what matters. But if for some reason I think he is expecting a sudden change in my life which is what he thinks to be the best. Then why would I ingnore it and give up to my judgement in a way which will suit my life right now? It is unpleasant in some way, but who knows. One day you're here, the other there.

So this year of school just started. It feels weird to be in your last year of school. There's no "next year" stuff, it all has a feel of end. The end isn't that near, but in less than a year I will have to face the rigorous ways of the army. A whole new reality in some way.
I will not be a Mr. Citizen for 3 years or so. I will rely on the system of the army, and they will decide how my life will look like while I'm under their hand. Mr. Puppet, ha ha.

I have started this week thinking also about many things I got to do this year. Like start taking driving lessons. Like thinking which way to go after the army. Many say: "Well, you got the whole army to think about it!", but what if for some reason I won't be going to the army in the end. What if something happens and I got to think faster? So, at least for now, I don't know what I would like to do. I thought of using some of the money I have been keeping for the university to do a trip around the world. But I think I will invest that money in something more productive like going to the university or school of some kind right after the army.

Well, people who know me know how important it is for me to have a profession before I get married. I think there should be a strong basis for that, so yes, I am not planning to get married until that. It means that before I am 25 I won't be.
Now, don't get me wrong. I am not that kind of person who thinks money buys everything. I am not planning to be rich, I just think too many young couples are doing the same mistake thinking that there is no problem. They just get married when they are 20, and in some months you start seeing the problems pop out. It is so sad. And that is the reason I am opposed to marriage before the age of 25.

But why am I bothering now with such themes?
Lets move on. So this year started and most of my school has gone through a big change. We got a new principal (the former left after a year because he felt he couldn't do anything more to improve the school's level) and a new (old, he wasn't in the school for 2 years) guy who is in charge of our class along with some others. The teacher who is in charge of my class is a school veteran, also in charge of all the final exams. She seems pretty nice, she even offered me today to leave the class and move to another class because she is aware of the good relationship I have with the teacher there. I will check tomorrow and give her my answer, I would like very much to be with that teacher, but I think I might regret leaving my class after two years of living with them. But everyone knows that for the other teacher I would kill, so I guess I will move soon to his class. Heil Boaz the Fuhrer! Lol.

So, life is really smiling at me. And I could only smile at the thought of her. I really love you telepatit. If I once thought it was just a small crush I now start thinking your father might be right. There is something else. :)

Meanwhile, I go and arrange my academic life. So if you wouldn't mind blog...
See you.