A weird week, I must say. Full with lowlights, here and there a highlight. But, well I'll tell you.
So, this week was NOT the kind of week I was expecting. Kind of.
I had an awesome week in terms of actually being happy. It's just that the reality didn't fit the mood.
I am an optimist and I really think people should be happy no matter what. However things don't really turn up to be the way you want them. I had an exam on history and it was a total disaster, completelly. I didn't learn 'cuz I though I knew it all. So I talked with her instead of learning and I went to school the next morning not knowing what to expect.
Boom Num. 1: I got my Ritalin and thought I had my 80 already, but when I saw the test I just was blank. Nothing to write, nothing to do. Nothing to do afterwards either, she (the teacher) just told me it was the exam and that's all. So ashamed for not even learning for one second, I went out leaving my test blank as it was.
Boom Num. 2: It came just today, after a cruel loss in history I just gave up again in sports. I said I couldn't run the full 25 (twenty-five) minutes we had to. The teacher told me to at least try to do it without stopping. "Well" I said, "all I know is that I cannot hold myself running for more than seven minutes" and that was my statement.
The teacher however said it was just my mind saying that I couldn't do it, but I prefered to face reality. Even if I did run, he (the teacher) would mark my running as unsuficient. So why try harder? I gave up. Second 0 in two days.
Boom Num. 3: There was no boom number three. Well, there almost was. A short test in Bible, which ended up pretty well actually.
So this day went on as usual. Got a bunch of homework to do in this whole-week holiday! So, that was pretty much it. We had a Succa also in our school, arranged by a few vandals who broke in in the night and slept there. It was a surprise, but everyone liked it.

This week I have been thinking a lot about my future. I know I would like to study something in Finland so I could be with my sweetheart, AND also learn the language. So I just studied the posibilities. As a matter of fact I should state the pros (there are no cons): 1) She, will be there. 2) I will learn Finnish. 3) Apparently, I won't need to pay for my studies. Which is good in order to keep my studies money for something else. 4) There's no need for a four. Three is enough.
So as I was thinking I came out with a couple of ideas.
I love photography, so I thought maybe that I could learn arts and photography there. Sounds good, good landscape, animals, views. What else do I need?
But a friend of mine pointed towards another thing I could do. Study in some Bible College and get a degree so I can work with youth or something.
I was shocked, never thought of that. It sounded really cool to me and it could be of help here among the youth. So late at night, as I finished my second poem to her I prayed for guidance. I said: "Lord, if it is Your Will, that I could go to study in a Bible College in Finland, please show me. If You can, show me Your Will this night in my dreams". And fade into black.
I never do that stuff of wanting Him to show me right away something. I never pray for specific stuff, asking for specific answers in specific ways. But I did it.

I woke up in the morning remembering just a red car. It was apparently my car. But I couldn't remember nothing else. I just said to myself that maybe I forgot about it or maybe it wasn't His Will to show me that right away.
Later, I remembered what was also in my dream. There was a house, a place where I lived. And I remember going around the house and getting into a place that was apparently a sauna. People started flowing in to the sauna. But I knew none of them.
So, could this sauna represent Finland in my dream? I am afraid I will have to ask God again, 'cuz I really want to feel it's his voice and not mine.
Anyways, I'm really exited about all this stuff. God has never showed me before that He wanted me to be in a Bible College or to be a leader. He showed me through many people that He wants me to be a worshipper, but this stuff just puzzles me. I have to pray about it.

Well, gotta go for now. Tomorrow I will get to talk to my love. So I must sleep well. Haha.
Good night.

P.S. If you read this suklaa, all I want is you to know that I love you.